Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Visitor's Guide

I've lived in Lindsborg two full months now.  Exactly how long does it take to be considered a "towner?"  I've never been sure, but I know I want to be.
To reach this coveted status, I knew I'd need a little help.  I say "yes" to evenings at the Ol Stuga whenever possible, shop at Scott's grocery store with their high prices (who doesn't love to buy local?), and even stop at Casey's every morning with Sara to get ice in our 52 oz mugs.  I am also pro-hydration.  But somehow I still often feel like I am just a visitor here.

This morning, while enjoying my caramel macchiato from the Old Grind while my friend from out of town enjoyed his hot chocolate, I racked my brain for ideas to entertain him.  Nothing seemed to be open, so we wandered the streets aimlessly, looking in windows while I blabbed about the store I want to open and peered in the building for rent to assess its quality.

I suddenly remembered the time Molly and I had accidentally ended up in Lindsborg and had found a tiny building with seemingly endless pamphlets about Lindsborg and its splendor.  I told my friend about it, and we had a new quest.  Of course I couldn't find it.  We passed it a few times before we finally saw it -- right beside the Old Grind, nonetheless.  Whoops.  We grabbed a pamphlet for Coronado Heights and went the wrong direction a couple of times before I just Googled it.  God bless my Blackberry.  I wasn't alone on this part of the adventure, but it's still worth mentioning.

I was a little upset that I had spent $12 on a car wash yesterday and had to drive a mile on a dirt road, but I was willing to go 30 mph, at least.  Sometimes 15.  We creeped up the bluff to Coronado Heights, and I will dare to say the the road up was terrible.  Full of potholes and deep crevices, not good for cars.  Good thing my 4-cylinder is a trooper.
It definitely was a beautiful sight to see.  Even in the wildly warm, rainy, windy, kind-of-like-autumn day that it was.  I didn't come prepared with proper foot gear for the trek, but I enjoyed it.  We made our way around the desolate site, and could see for miles.  It was very castle-esque, and had I been a child, I would have stayed for hours, enjoying its whimsical qualities, and pretending to be my ancestors.  Then, every time I saw a car go by, I would exclaim with wonder, "What's that piece of machinery!?"  Just like the old days, Sami K.



For some information on Coronado Heights, check out this link:  http://www.kansastravel.org/coronadoheights.
 
After my friend left, I looked for candles for my dear friend Peggy H. (only available in little Sweden for her Swedish Christmas tree) and headed to Salina for some thrifting.  The candles didn't fit, but I did get to see one of my favorite families for the third time this Christmas break.  My tummy led me to Freddy's Frozen Custard for lunch, alone.  Always the most awkward of experiences alone is eating. Freddy's was crazy stuffed with families and couples, so me taking up a whole booth to myself seemed a little selfish, but hey, it was warmer than a little table.  I enjoyed my burger with pickles and read from the Visitor's Guide I had brought in on a whim.


I also thought I might have time to make some lists, but I didn't.  Right there, in the center of the universe that is Freddy's Frozen Custard, I decided to work my way through the Lindsborg Visitor's Guide.  I threw my trash away with gusto and walked outside without putting on my coat.  Nothing could stop me.  But I did get a tad distracted by a woman with very small arms making the narrowest turn ever in her humongous van.  What a BAMF!  But then...back on course.

I drove right back to Lindsborg, searched all the little shops for candles to fit Peggy's Swedish Christmas tree, but only found one candle in a discarded pile of candles.  Defeat.  But I will not give up!

Next up -- I went to the Bibliotek (library).  I have been wanting to visit its used book store inside, as well.  I got myself an account and spent an hour browsing, then ended up with these gems:


I checked out Kate Chopin's The Awakening.  Always a great read.  As well as "Arsenic and Old Lace" with Cary Grant. LOVE me some Cary Grant.  And I don't fully understand why more men don't have his swagger.
I also got the bottom four for my classroom.  The 20th Centry Children's Book Treasury (full of all my favorite books made smaller!), Surprise (which was only 25 cents and needs a little TLC, but great for object permanence), Merry Christmas Amelia Bedelia (my childhood favorite books, and more for me than anything), and Fun with Numbers (that comes with an interactive CD-rom!  Helloooooo technology!).  All of this for the bargain price of six dollars!  It was buy one, get one free.  Hallelujah.
I also got to know the lady working behind the circulation desk a little.  She asked me if I was in college (typical), and when I told her that I was teaching preschool at Head Start, she was so gracious and appreciative.  I liked her immediately.  She said she admired what we do, and that she knows it didn't make a lot of money (truth), but it was such an important job, and she was so glad I was doing it.  Her son was born with Autism and attended parochial school in Western Kansas, which must be how she heard about us somewhere along the way.  We shared a few experiences, as many as two could while she scanned my books and a line formed behind me.  Yes, I liked that place indeed.  

Now home, as I reflect on my day, I am proud of its productivy contributing to my "towner" status.  Now maybe when you ask me what to do on a lazy day in Lindsborg, I'll have an answer. 

*Tip for Onderful Adventurers*
When going out alone, always wear something you feel lovely in.  One of my favorite things to do is make outfits.  However generic that sounds.  When I feel good about myself, I project confidence.  And doing things alone takes a hearty helping of that.


Monday, November 22, 2010

Parade of Lights

I'm not sure I even need to pump up this title with a quote or proof of its amazing qualities.  It's a PARADE.  Of LIGHTS.  Christmas lights!

I begrudgingly (very begrudgingly) went to this even by myself.  Not only are Christmas lights one of the top five most romantic things to look at, but a Charlie Brown Christmas was being shown at the old Stiefel Theatre directly following to raise money for charity.  And it only cost one dollar.  Talk about the perfect date -- Christmas lights, music, hot cocoa, and warming up next to each other watching Charlie Brown.  I couldn't create a more perfect situation if I tried.  

Of course every time I really find something this perfect, I'm all alone.  It's good for me, right?  My roommate was out of town, and everyone else I know was too far away or wrapped up in their own life.  You know -- children, in-laws, date night, taking naps.  Things I have no concept of.  Except the naps.  I had been doing that practically all day.  So getting myself motivated to shower and dress in so many clothes to stay warm was an obstacle in itself.  But I did it!  Because I knew my five faithful readers would like to hear about it, and I needed to snap out of a lazy Saturday funk.  

So there I was, almost late to a parade downtown in Salina.  Everyone was there.  At least it looked like it.  I had to park blocks away then trot (more ladylike than a jog) to the main event.  The biggest obstacle of going to a parade by yourself? -- finding somewhere to stand that doesn't make you look like an awkward predator.  I walked up and down a couple of blocks and surveyed the land.  The parade was moving slow enough that this was possible.  I found myself pretending I was looking for someone.  Because a single lady alone at a night-time parade stands out.  And I just had to carry my new holiday purse.  I think that made it worse.  


I found a spot amidst several families with young children.  I just kept looking away from them.  If I was caught staring, they'd think I was creepy.  If I was too busy to notice them, I was obviously someone important.  The parade was great -- just as I expected.  But it was a touch too long.  An hour is too long to stand outside in winter temperatures.  People stopped caring about the lights, because all their appendages were numb.

Below is the tree inside the Stiefel, and an old fashioned fire truck, all lit up!  Some girls were even twirling fire batons.  Flashy!


I took a break 20 minutes in and got some hot chocolate.  After that, I was still cold and the hot chocolate was lukewarm, so I sought shelter beneath the twinkling lights of the Stiefel Theatre overhang.  There I met some merry old gentlemen.  We sort of huddled together and talked about how cold it was.  It started with two, and we multiplied to four.  Each time we'd exclaim how cold it was.  If we said it out loud enough, it might change. 


When the parade was over, I was in a prime spot to be first in line for Charlie Brown.  When I got inside, I turned around and walked out.  It took less than a minute for families with young children and couples holding hands and laughing to swarm upon me.  My scarf started to choke me like a turtleneck on a day when you're nauseous.  I was close to being trampled, moms with screaming children trying to escape the cold...more people talking about how cold it was...coughing and loud talking in small space...and I was all alone.  I couldn't handle it.  There was no one to grab my hand and lead me through the crowd, no one to save my seat when I had to walk around to survey the crowd like I love to do.  I knew that mom with the screaming child would be cut-throat when it came to seat pickin'.  I burst through the side door and took a loud breath.  Freedom.  Sometimes it feels so good to be dramatic.

Funny thing was -- after all that, I wasn't the least bit disappointed in myself.  I was only disappointed I didn't get the charming experience of seeing Charlie Brown at the Stiefel.  I think we have to know our limits.  If I was with another person, I wouldn't agree to do something that made me uncomfortable.  Or would I?  I think peer pressure can be positive and negative.  The power of company.  An interesting social experiment at the very least.  

The night ended with me running back to my car (I couldn't get mugged holding my new holiday purse!) and locking the doors as soon as I got in.  I was energized enough to accept the offer from my sister to come to Wichita and hang out with her.  Which I am so happy about.  I got to spend time with her that I'd been missing, and my brother even drove us to and from the fine drinking establishment where we danced the night away.  Then, all three siblings together, we ate an entire Spears pumpkin pie we bought at Quik Trip.  You can take the girl out of the country...but she keeps coming back after semi-failed attempts at being independent.



Friday, September 24, 2010

the cinema

Typical movie theater experience for Tabatha:  Pay for overpriced ticket, mull over the popcorn vs. candy decision, then just decide to eat the Raisinets/grapes/taco that I brought in my purse (it varies). Sit down, remember I have to pee, leave and come back, then make a big show out of searching for my friends who I must have lost in that time I was gone to the bathroom.  They usually wave their hands wildly while I squint and block the imaginary light from my eyes, scanning each row, then walking out the door again "looking" for them.  Obviously.

This time was a little different.  I am usually pumped to go to a movie and participate in the culture...this was more like nervous.  Wearing a new risqué blouse-nervous.  Is everyone looking? Do they know I'm alone?  Maybe they'll think I'm meeting someone...

Here's where I went, in the booming metropolis that is Salina, the only movie theater -- in the mall.

Yes, the prestigious Cinema 10.  Where the girl behind the concessions walked away from her open drawer, not even completing her last transaction with me next in line, to talk to a very tan and make-upped girl about why she "quit school."  I almost cleared my throat, it was so rude.  She left me standing in line for two minutes while she carried on a personal conversation, with her money drawer wide open.  So unprofessional, these children.

I almost forgot to mention how I made the decision to see "Easy A."  I did what any 20something might do -- I trusted the internet.  


Naturally, I didn't choose "The Town" because there's someone I'm saving that gem for.  I had heard of "Easy A" a while back, but wasn't entirely sold.  But...I love Emma Stone and especially love Penn Badgley.  So there I was.

I loved it.  It was clever, well-timed, and full of interesting language that I was immediately proud of.  I love when other people impress me with vocabulary.  I laughed out loud more times than I can count, and it was so new not to look around for validation of that laugh.  Typically I would throw my head back with laughter and glance from side to side making sure my friends knew it was funny, knew I thought it was funny, and I knew they thought it was funny too.

On a side note -- you will hate Lisa Kudrow in this movie.  At first, I thought, "Yay!  Lisa Kudrow is in this?! And look at her cute dress/belt combo!"  Then I thought, "I hate you Lisa Kudrow."  And suddenly her nose looked larger than it ever has to me.  A side effect.

Moments I loved about being alone at the movie theater include, but are not limited to:  noticing when the man in front of me needed a penny for his bill of 12.01, and then giving it to him; studying the dreadlocks of the man near me intensively, laughing and not missing parts of the movie because of the need to see if everyone else thought it was funny too, running into a friend and still sitting by myself (triumph!), and laughing loudly period.  Whenever I wanted.  Even when the gaggle of girlfriends and distracted couples were silent.

Moments I did not love:   walking in a parking lot at night by myself, getting caught taking pictures of myself, and not finishing my concessions.  Just remember -- a medium popcorn is too much for a Onederful date such as this.

Oh, the waste.  I cringe.  So I brought it home.  And I probably won't eat it.  But at least I attempted to not be wasteful.

And then I took an awkward photo of myself.  I was being secretive, not only because I was in public, but I was afraid they'd confiscate my camera, mistaking me for a bootlegger.  Never.  Nevah, nevah.

Safely back in my car, I could take a picture of myself, anything at all...and this is the nugget I came up with.  


Go see a movie by yourself.  At the late show.  Not the matinée, because that seems like it could be okay to go by yourself in the middle of the afternoon.  Do it when it's the most shocking, and when you normally would have needed a friend.

That's what she said.


Monday, September 6, 2010

Adventure Two -- Montani semper liberi.




Mountaineers are always free, says Latin.  There aren't many mountains around Salina, but Lakewood Discovery Center/Park might just be the next best thing.

You can check out a little bit of it here:  http://www.naturalkansas.org/lakewood.htm

The actual Discovery Center was closed, so I went on a hike!  I'm always a little nervous to go into a wooded area alone.  It's a little too Law and Order for me (SVU).  At first, all the little noises scared me.  I purposely didn't bring music so that I wouldn't get pounced upon by wild animals/predators of the human kind without keen sense of hearing.  :)  The lack of music was refreshing.  Rather than focusing on my usual daydream, I could pay attention to the crunch of the wooden mulch beneath my feet, the sound of the wind high above me moving through the trees...and the butterfly that hitched a ride on my t-shirt for a solid minute.  

Before going on this hike, I admit I was a little distraught.  It had not been a great 15 hours preceding the hike.  My head was swimming and I needed the solitude.  It was 91 degrees.


Luckily, I left my horse at home.


A fork in the path -- you can always find something relevant to your life in nature.




I call these next photos "adventures in self-photography."  At the very least, when I get married, we'll be really good at using the timer on our honeymoon so that innocent bystanders won't have to suffer and all our pictures won't be of us awkwardly alone.





This was the most whimsical part of the woods -- Puck could have come around any corner.




This afternoon hike was filled with glorious alone time.  My mood immediately improved after being in nature -- and spending a little me time. It's hard to be unhappy in the woods.  Unless it's dark.  And there's a Blair Witch involved.  

I wanted to leave you with a little something from Henry David Thoreau, a man who did great things alone...most appropriately about the woods.  But he wrote something else that I love to think about.  

"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live."  

How correct, HDT, how correct.  

Which is exactly what I plan to do.



Wednesday, September 1, 2010

WHEN It's Love

This post isn't technically an overview of a one-derful adventure, but still a one-derful thought for you...


I listen to this song a lot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iR2TIzM5PaQ&feature=related


It's called, "If It's Love" by Train.  I love me some Train, and the melody of this song is beautiful, along with a select few lyrics.  


Note this stanza and bolded line. 








But I'm afraid when I hear stories

About a husband and wife

There's no happy endings

No Henry Lee

But you are the greatest thing about me





Really?
Someone else is the best thing about YOU?
The GREATEST thing?

I've made this a special point of interest because of the power music holds over some people.  We've all been there.  If I'm happy, I want a soundtrack for my happiness.  If I'm sad, I wallow in it and let the sad lyrics seep into my system.  If I need to get some work done, I crank pandora -- I love it, and so do my students.  (Who wouldn't love a little Louis Armstrong in the background?)  Sometimes it expresses those feelings I can't vocalize, and provides a comfort that I'm not getting anywhere else.  Or livens up a party!  I love this song so much, but when I hear that line, I cringe.

Let's not define ourselves by another.

When it's love, the greatest thing about you will be you.
One-derful you.










Sunday, August 29, 2010

Dating Myself -- The First Adventure

After church, I drove leisurely around Salina, knowing I was hungry but not wanting to be put in the fast-food box for people who can't eat anywhere else when they're alone.

So I ventured downtown to a lovely Italian restaurant called "Martinelli's."  I had to park a block away because the Baptists beat me there after church.  Ha.

That walk alone was enough to make a person like me want to turn around and pretend I was just taking a stroll.  The large windows enabled the people inside to see me coming from a long way, and I had to hold my dress down.  Already embarrassing.  As I opened the door, I took a deep breath, acted like I knew where I was going and marched right in.

The hostess said the dreaded words, "How many?"  to which I promptly replied, "Oh, just one today," and smiled rather largely.  She smiled back.  Success.

The girl who seated me fumbled over where to put the one menu at the table set for four, and we laughed as I chose a seat and a bus boy scurried to clear the other place settings.  My waiter was a dashing young man with dark curly hair and a beautiful complexion.  Much too young for me, and anyway, this experience is about enjoying being alone!

Confidence, I thought.  All it takes is confidence.  I took some time mulling over the menu (mostly to buy myself some less awkward time) and decided on a quarter portion of spaghetti and meatballs with a glass of Merlot.  I was carded, of course, but not before I could ask if they were allowed to sell wine on Sundays.  Stupid question.  I couldn't believe it was so difficult for me to order on my own.  My dinners out usually consist of me shooting food-option ideas off of everyone at the table.  I can't believe I've had to be validated to the point that ordering my own meal wasn't a personal decision anymore.

While I was ordering, my phone rang, and what a great time to talk on the phone!  I'll look like I have a life, I thought.  I talked to Molly for around 6 minutes and we discussed our trip to Virginia in October and my new blogging idea as I told her where I was and what I was doing.  She's very supportive, and even excited--as a good best friend should be.  :)  My food came almost immediately when I hung up the phone, and the woman who brought my Merlot asked if I had already been carded because I "just look so young!"  Thanks, lady.  I KNOW.  So now I look like a baby all alone, and drinking wine.  Way to be even more of a spectacle!

I'm used to making a spectacle of myself.  That's happened since the moment I could speak.  Seems I can't walk into a room without doing something ridiculous.  But -- I pressed on.  Here is what my lunch looked like.

That is more like spaghetti and meatBALL.  Singular.  But the most delicious Italian I have had in a long time.

The rest of my meal, I took slow, deliberate bites.  I suggest doing this not only because you get full faster and can take home leftovers, but because it gave me time to take in the enviroment around me.  You might call it eavesdropping, I call it appreciating conversation.  The people next to me talked long about the desert and an adventure two of the people had there.  Across the way I saw the doppleganger of a man that I know.  I even  appreciated every sip of my Merlot.  I might not have experienced any of those things had I been consumed with the presence of another person.

I still love being with people.  But this...this is new.  And kind of exciting.

After my meal, I needed to walk off that wine so I explored a little downtown and found a few more spots to add my "date" list, including this theater.




All in all, I'm a pretty good date.




*My kudos to Mr. Abram Rankin who helped me come up with the name for this blog.  From one onederful person to the next. ;) *

The OneDerful Life

I woke up this morning after a night of untranslatable dreaming to find myself with a new idea.  Many big decisions I've made have become clear in a dream, and ideas even originate there.  I can seldom remember what I actually dreamed about, but I wake up with a new resolve; knowing what I need to do.  The first time it happened was when I changed my major from English to Early Childhood Education after two years of English courses.  Crazy?  Maybe.  I worked harder than I ever have to graduate in a reasonable time and learned a lot along the way.  A few dreams and ideas later, I'm on to this one.  

An extrovert by nature, I rarely do anything alone.  When I find myself alone, I mope around and am rendered useless by the feelings of loneliness I have.  I honestly get my energy from other people.  Other people motivate me to do the smallest things.  As I felt sorry for myself Friday night, I ate too much Chinese food and watched The Back-Up Plan as well as six episodes of The Office.  I made myself sick by doing absolutely nothing.  The next day I did the same thing, only this time I tortured myself with hours of PBS.  I watched teenage moms, oppressed women in Israel, an annoying lady painting roses, and of course, a little "This Old House."  When I couldn't take it anymore I stood up to stretch and took a look at my laptop.  I had posted a video to a friend's facebook wall last week about being alone.


I found the video cute at first, but when I watched it again, I noticed something.

The poet writer, Tanya Davis, says "society is afraid of alone..."

I paused the video right there and wondered why.  Why is society afraid of alone?  Why am I afraid of alone?
I closed my laptop and decided to go swimming (logically).  By myself.  In the neighborhood pool.  I only stayed 20 minutes because the water was freezing and some other people came. I didn't want them to think I was weird for being alone.

As I went through the rest of my day, the thought of being alone, and being okay, ran through my head almost constantly.  I washed my car.  I wasted time on facebook for hours.  I eventually drove 40 miles to see a friendly face or three.  As I fell asleep on my friend's couch last night (because I was too afraid to drive home at night alone), I was still thinking of my own alone-liness.  

When I woke up, either my dreams or my restless sleep had given me new direction.

I will be dating myself.

This blog isn't about the sad, depressing, single life.  Yes, I'm single and have recently moved to a new city but this blog is about t this extrovert breeching into new territory and actually enjoying time alone.  I am going to take myself out.  For dinner.  For walks.  For movies.  For dancing.  For a good time.  I want to enjoy life...just like Billy Idol intended -- "dancing with myself..."